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All things pigskin.

1. Ezekiel Elliott has 2,975 career rushing yards, good for 10th best at Ohio State. Zeke needs 25 yards to pass Carlos Snow (2,999 yards) for 9th place; 102 yards to pass Pepe Pearson (3,076 yards) for 8th place; 224 yards to pass Carlos Hyde (3,198 yards) for 7th place; 226 yards to pass Keith Byars (3,200 yards) for 6th place; and 241 yards to pass Braxton Miller (3,215 yards) for 5th place (assuming that Miller gains no yards rushing against Penn State).

Buckeye PlayerRanking-Yards Rushing-Yards to Surpass
Braxton Miller5th3,215241
Keith Byars6th3,200226
Carlos Hyde7th3,198224
Pepe Pearson8th3,076102
Carlos Snow9th2,99925
Ezekiel Elliott10th2,9750

2. Michael Thomas has 1,230 yards receiving, good for 25th best at Ohio State. Thomas needs 39 yards to pass Reggie Germany (1,268 yards) for 24th place; 48 yards to pass Buster Tillman (1,277 yards) for 23rd place; 57 yards to pass Anthony Gonzalez (1,286 yards) for 22nd place; 60 yards to pass Brian Stablein (1,289 yards) for 21st place; 190 yards to pass Bobby Olive (1,419 yards) for 20th place; and 200 yards to pass Brian Hartline (1,429 yards) for 19th place.

Buckeye PlayerRankingYards ReceivingYards to Surpass
Brian Hartline19th1,429200
Bobby Olive20th1,419190
Brian Stablein21st1,28960
Hey all, I'm back. Sorry about last week - I was out of town and left this column to Poobert while I attended to some important business in Las Vegas. As he mentioned, while I was there I put some real money on some of last weeks key games in lieu of doing our normal picks. Poobert said we'd find out who the real Fuck Face is. It turns out, it's both of us. In the grand Vegas tradition, we lost our asses. Poobert only won one of his five bets. I only won two.

The best thing we can do about is change the subject and never speak of that shameful performance again. So, let's talk about rivalries instead. It seems to be an appropriate topic now that Ohio State's rival has re-discovered football and is beginning to run their mouths a bit...
1. Ohio State 49, Maryland 28. The Buckeyes did what the Buckeyes do: Gain a lot of yards, score a lot of points, commit a few huge inexplicable mistakes that turns a rout into a competitive game. This time the offense was very good, but the defense allowed Maryland's reserve QB Perry Hills to rush for 170 yards and 2 TDs, including a long run of 75 yards, and throw a 52-yard TD pass. This game was actually tied at 21 early in the third quarter before the Buckeyes woke up and ran off 28 straight points. Ohio State is still probably the class of the Big Ten, but they really haven't played like it so far.

2. Michigan 38, Northwestern 0. The Wolverines' offense was hardly impressive (380 total yards), but the defense simply smothered the Wildcats, who managed just 168 yards (2.9 yards/play), 2/13 on third down, 22:55 time of possession, and of course zero points. The shutout was Michigan's third in a row, quite a feat in this day and age of offensive football. There is one big question concerning the Wolverines going forward: Can they continue to win with below average QB play from Jake Ruddock, who is 95th in FBS in passing efficiency? Up next: the undefeated Michigan State Spartans.

3. Michigan State 31, Rutgers 24. A week after receiving a scare from 1-5 Purdue, the Spartans received another scare from 2-3 Rutgers. In fact, Michigan State has been receiving scares all season long, hardly what you'd expect from a top-5 team. Expect the scares to end next Saturday when Sparty travels to the Big House to face a Michigan squad that has outscored its opponents 160-14 over the last five games.

4. Minnesota 41, Purdue 13. A week after nearly upsetting the highly-ranked Michigan State Spartans, the Purdue Boilermakers crashed back down to their rightful place at the bottom of the Big Ten. The Minnesota Golden Gophers, who've had trouble scoring against everybody this season (15.4 ppg entering the game), pounded...
1. Yesterday's win over Maryland reminded me a lot of last year's win over Cincinnati. The scores were almost identical (50-28 over UC; 49-28 over UM); the offenses performed almost flawlessly; and the defenses were generally solid but had egregious lapses of execution. If you remember, Cincinnati WR Chris Moore burned Ohio State's defense for three long touchdown receptions of 60, 78, and 83 yards. Yesterday, it was Maryland QB Perry Hills who unexpectedly had a huge game, with 25 rushes for 170 yards and 2 TDs with a long run of 75 yards; he also had a 52-yard TD pass to D.J. Moore (no relation to Chris). In each game, the defense broke down at critical moments and allowed game-changing plays. Eliminate those few errors, and each game is a 40-point blow out.

2. Ezekiel Elliott had a good but not great game yesterday: 21 carries for 106 yards (5.05 ypc) and 2 TDs. It was Zeke's 11th straight game with 100+ yards rushing. Zeke also had 6 receptions for 47 yards.

3. On the season, Elliott now has 121 carries for 835 yards (139.2 ypg; 6.90 ypc) and 10 TDs.

4. For his career, Elliott now has 2,975 yards rushing, good for 10th place in Buckeye history. Yesterday, he passed Anotnio Pittman (2,945 yards) and Michael Wiley (2,951 yards) on the list of career rushing leaders.

5. Michael Thomas had 7 receptions for 107 yards, both career highs (he also had 7 receptions against Alabama in last year's Sugar Bowl). For his career, Thomas now has 1,230 yards, which is good for 25th place in Buckeye history.

6. Cardale Jones had a big game, completing 21 of 28 passes for 291 yards and 2 TDs. More importantly, Jones did not throw an interception and was sacked only once. In fact, his biggest "mistake" was a 33-yard completion to Braxton Miller, where Miller made an acrobatic catch of an overthrown ball. If Jones's pass is on the mark, Braxton catches it in stride and goes 52-yards for a touchdown.

7. For his career, Jones now has 2,021 yards passing, which puts him in...
Hi friends its Poobert. Josh is gone this week so he sed hed let me rite about college football. He said he was going to Lost Vegas. He sed it was for “work”. I do not beleev him. I no wut kind of stuff goes on there. Ive been around the litter box a time or too.

Ive become pritty gud at this college football thing. Ive seen how many peeple Im beeeting in pickem. I keep heering evry week that Im doing a gud job so I told Josh that if he wuz going to dich me to go on a trip that he shud make himself useful. I gave him sum munny to put on this weeks games. Hes said hes going to put sum munny down too, but on difrent games. We will see hoo wins the most.

The last few weeks wer practis. Now its on for reel. Now we will see who the reel fukface is!

My picks:

Oklahoma (-17.0) vs Texas[​IMG]
Wisconsin (+1.5) at Nebraska[​IMG]
Navy (+14.0) at Notre Dame[​IMG]
East Carolina (+7.5) at BYU[​IMG]
Miami (+9.5) at Florida State[​IMG]
Joshs picks:

Illinois (+11.0) at Iowa[​IMG]
Northwestern (+7.5) at M*ch*g*n[​IMG]
TCU (-9.0) at Kansas State[​IMG]
Cal (+7.0) at Utah[​IMG]
Florida (-5.5) at Missouri[​IMG]
1. The Ohio State Buckeyes (5-0; 1-0; #1 AP; #1 CP) remained undefeated with a 34-27 win over the Indiana Hoosiers (4-1; 0-1) that literally came down to the last play of the game. The star of the afternoon was Ohio State's Ezekiel Elliott who had 23 carries for 274 yards and 3 touchdowns (runs of 55, 65, and 75 yards), and another 12 yards on a pair of receptions. The rest of the Buckeye offense combined for 231 yards and 3 turnovers. The Buckeye defense was generally solid (10 punts, 9 three-and-outs), but could not force any turnovers and allowed Indiana's back-up quarterback Zander Diamont to run for a 79-yard touchdown in the fourth quarter. At the end of the game, Indiana had the ball at the Ohio State 9-yard line with the chance to tie the score, but Diamont's final pass attempt fell incomplete in the end zone.

2. The Michigan State Spartans (5-0; 1-0; #4 AP; #3 CP) had a surprisingly difficult time with the lowly Purdue Boilermakers (1-4; 0-1), barely holding on with a 24-21 win. Sparty had a significant edge in total yards (406 to 301) and turnovers (3 to 0) and time of possession (37:24 to 22:36), but Purdue's Markell Jones had 157 yards rushing and a pair of fourth quarter touchdowns (including a run of 68 yards) to make the game close. Even with the win, Sparty dropped two spots in the AP poll and one in the coaches poll.

3. The Michigan Wolverines (4-1; 1-0; #18 AP; #21 CP) whitewashed the Maryland Terrapins (2-3; 0-1) by the score of 28-0. It was the second straight shutout for the Wolverines, who have given up only 38 points on the season. Michigan is #2 in scoring defense in FBS (7.6 points per game), #2 in total defense (184.0 yards per game, 3.1 yards per play), and #1 in third-down defense (.194 conversion rate). The Wolverine offense, on the other hand, has been barely competent, checking in at #77 in total offense (392.6 yards per game) and #74 in scoring offense (27.8 points per game). Maryland has been bad all year, and this marks their...
1. Teams like to come up with a slogan for the season: All In (Cavaliers) ... What If? (Indians) ... Send in the Clowns (Browns). For this year's Buckeye team, the slogan should be A Win Is a Win Is a Win, because all this team needs to do is keep on winning no matter how narrow or ugly those victories might be. If the Buckeyes end up with a 13-0 record and a second-straight Big Ten championship, then they will be invited to the playoffs regardless of what anyone else does.

2. Okay, I'll say the un-sayable: Ezekiel Elliott is the best running back ever to play for Ohio State. Archie has the gaudy numbers and those two Heisman Trophies. Eddie posted the best single season in Buckeye history and has a Heisman of his own. MoC had a special combination of speed, power, balance, and vision, and led the 2002 team to a national championship. Robert Smith was so smooth and fluid and just plain fast. And then there's Hopalong and Beanie and El Guapo and Keith Byars and Tim Spencer.... But Elliott is simply the best.

3. And here are some of the reasons why Zeke is the best. Through 31 games (20 starts) Elliott already has 2,869 yards, which puts him in 12th place among the Buckeyes' career rushing leaders. Elliott needs only 900 yards to move past Eddie George and into second place, and with at least eight games remaining this season he should accomplish that feat.

Elliott is averaging 92.5 yards per game, which is 4th best in Buckeye history, but only 1.6 yards from second place (Jim Otis, 94.1 yards per game). Zeke's average per game is especially impressive when you consider that he was the third-string tailback (behind Carlos Hyde and Jordan Hall) as a true freshman in 2013, and he averaged only 23.8 yards per game during that season (262 yards in 11 games). In his 20 starts, Zeke is averaging 130.35 yards per game, which would be the best ever at Ohio State (Archie Griffin averaged 121.5 yards per game in 46 games, all starts).

Ohio State - The Buckeyes (4-0; #1 AP; #1 CP) have played sloppy ball (10 turnovers) and relied on big plays (9 offensive TDs of 20+ yards; 3 defensive TDs) to score points. Their schedule has been mediocre at best (opponents' combined record is 7-9). But they are still the defending champions and until someone actually knocks them off they are still CONTENDERS.

Michigan State - The Spartans' (4-0; #2 AP; #2 CP) reputation is based on their seemingly big win over Oregon (31-28) at home in week two. That win has since been tainted by Utah, who destroyed Oregon (62-20) at Autzen Stadium. The rest of the Spartans' resume' consists of closer than expected wins over Western Michigan (37-24), Central Michigan (30-10), and Air Force (35-21). Michigan State's vaunted defense ranks 46th in scoring (20.8 ppg) and 77th in yards (395.8 ypg). Despite the lofty poll rankings, this MSU team has taken a step back from its highly successful seasons in 2013 (12-1 record; #3 AP; #3 CP) and 2014 (11-2 record; #5 AP; #5 CP). Sparty is a PRETENDER that will eventually be exposed, perhaps as early as October 17th when they take a trip to Ann Arbor.

Ole Miss - Throw out the blow out wins against Tennessee-Martin (76-3) and Fresno State (73-21) to open the season. In week three, the Rebels (4-0; #3 AP; #5 CP) went into Tuscaloosa and defeated the Crimson Tide (43-37), which is one of the biggest wins for any team so far this year. Granted, the victory over Alabama was somewhat fluky, and Ole Miss followed it up with an unimpressive showing against lowly Vanderbilt (27-16), but for now the Rebels are CONTENDERS.

Alabama, Georgia - These two SEC powerhouses square off this Saturday. The Crimson Tide (3-1; #13 AP; #13 CP) already have one loss and if they lose another they're done. If the Tide can hold...
The Buckeyes finished their non-conference schedule with a record of 4-0 and they stand as the number one team in the country. Western Michigan was the latest victim, falling 38-12 yesterday in The Horseshoe (or the Bronco Hoof, if you prefer). Here are some takeaways from yesterday's game:

1. Facing the 109th ranked run defense in FBS, the offensive staff did a better job of getting the ball to their tailbacks. Ezekiel Elliott had 16 carries for 124 yards and a touchdown and Curtis Samuel had 2 carries for 55 yards and a touchdown. Elliott had long runs of 15, 20, and 26 yards, while Samuel's runs went for 15 and 40 yards.

2. As noted in the pre-game report, Zeke broke off an 80-yard touchdown run on his first carry of the season. After that great start, he managed to gain only 251 yards on his next 60 carries (4.2 yards per carry) with a long run of just 13 yards. On his first run yesterday, Zeke broke out of his little slump by going for 26 yards. He also added a 20-yard run late in the third quarter.

3. Last season, Elliott rushed for 1,878 yards (125.2 per game; 6.88 per carry) and 18 touchdowns (1.20 per game). So far this season, Elliott now has 455 yards (113.8 per game; 5.91 per carry) and 5 TDs (1.25 per game). The big difference is in the yards per carry, which is down almost 1.0 yard this year compared to last year.

4. If Elliott were averaging 6.88 yards per carry this year instead of 5.91, he would have 530 yards rushing (+75 total yards) for an average of 132.5 yards per game (+18.7 yards per game).

5. With his 124 yards rushing against WMU, Elliott now has 2,595 career rushing yards. Yesterday he moved past Jim Otis (2,542 yards) and Cal Murray (2,576 yards) into 13th place on the list of Buckeye career rushing leaders. Next up on the list is Raymont Harris (2,649 yards).

6. With his 288 yards passing, Cardale Jones now has 1,485 career passing yards. Cardale moved into 23rd place on the list of Buckeye career passing...
I didn't watch this game live. I elected to go to a party where the game wasn't being shown. I drank copious amounts of the finest craft beer the midwest has to offer, then came home and watched the game on the DVR. I'm reacting to what took place today on an alternate timeline from nearly everybody else. Now, still half-drunk off Dark Lord and B.O.R.I.S. (yes, I'm a name dropper) I'm going to attempt to make sense of what we all saw today.

The Buckeyes did what they failed to do in either of the last two weeks and won comfortably against an inferior opponent. The scoreline perhaps didn't reflect most homers' wet dreams from last night, but it was an easy win where the Buckeyes mostly did what they wanted.

It was a comprehensive performance. They ran the ball efficiently. They passed the ball decently. Cardale Jones looked more confident and made wiser decisions than last week. The offense made explosive plays. The defense did too. Special teams contributed with a blocked kick. The Buckeyes controlled field position the entire game.

There are still things to work on. There were big plays left unfulfilled due to underthrown passes and wide receivers who didn't adjust and make plays quite like last year's guys did. The defense, while performing at an elite level for much of the season so far, could have done a better job stopping the inside run and limiting the length of WMU's drives.

All in all though, it was a good win that should have us coming away feeling like the Buckeyes are getting back on track...